Thursday, January 31, 2008

Wants and Needs

I got into a conversation today with students over the difference between "wants" and "needs".
It all begun with one bemoaning the fact that he did not receive an allowance.

Oh, Pobrecita!
Can you imagine?
No free money from Mom!
What will he do?

I commented that he probably got more from his parents than if he had an allowance because if he had an allowance they would expect him to pay for his "wants".

Then we had to decide what their needs are and what their wants are.
Poor kids! They could not tell me the difference!!!!!
I finally had to tell them what they needed to sustain life.

Their comment?
I WANT to go to the movie and I NEED money!

HOW do you argue with that logic?!!!!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Draw the Line

My discipline methods have often been a source of amusement. Among friends we laugh about how conservatively we raised our children but we continue to defend our means with a laugh.

One of the particular issues was my concern about keeping our language pure.
In our home we did not use the "b" word..........
instead we said "rear", "hiney", "caboose" or any of those benign terms for the part of our body for which we rest ourselves. Over the years since my children are all grown now we have begun to slip and use the "b" word ourselves a little. Knowing friends suck in their breath loudly and proclaim, "oh, no" and we laugh over it.

But truthfully....

Our society has become so loose with their language that by today's standards adhering to such a policy may seem ridiculous. My reasoning was always that the line needed to be drawn for children what is acceptable and what is not. We drew the line very conservatively. If my children knew that I would frown over their use of b--- then they would not be using a-- in front of me anyway.

I cringe at sports events when coaches get up and announce to our children "GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME A--!" But I was around when they used to say "GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME B---!" Give them an inch and they'll take a mile.

Over the weekend my old rule came back in the form of my youngest child disciplining his oldest child. Carl admitted he told Reese teasingly that he was going to "kick her b---" and for days she went around saying it. She has such a sweet little voice. Words drip from her lips in a rhythmic sound like angel's singing. Here was this sweet sounding child singing "kick your b---, kick your b---, kick your b---"
Carl said it took days of undoing what he had done.

It may seem ridiculous to many that we draw the line with rude sounding words but if we do not keep high standards we have placed ourselves ON the line, or even over the line and there is not leeway left.

So draw the line and stick to it. At least you will take a stand. Your children will not forget it. They may stray from it, they may trot around it, they may twist it and even break it but they will remember you told them what was appropriate and what was not.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Pearson's Arrival



Pearson arrived yesterday at 2:56 PM weighing in at 8 lbs. 3 ozs and 20.5 inches long. All are well.

What a wonderful experience this is.


Monday, January 21, 2008

Pearson's Arrival

You see that baby ticker to the right? Well, we are now doing the negative numbers. Day one and counting! Pearson is warm and cozy inside.

The scheduled arrival is planned for tomorrow when Lisa will go in to be induced.
Pray for his safe arrival.

Taking the Wind out of my Sail

I don't think I am the only person who allows someone to take the wind out of my sails but often that is exactly what happens when I put too much importance in one person's opinion.

For about six months now, I have been wanting to get a woman's night out going among our ladies at church. I have mentioned it to several who are in agreement with the idea. but I told one older woman and she said in her very negative tone, "Well, I don't know how well that would go over. I can not afford to go out to eat once a month with the ladies."

.......WHOOF.....all the wind just got sucked out of my sails!

I postponed implementing the idea. A loss to any woman in the congregation who would have benefited from bonding with other woman.

I announce I have lost four pounds this week doing a particular diet and a slender woman in the crowd says, "I can lose that in a day."

.......WHOOF.....all the wind just got sucked out of my sails!

I become discouraged and go off the diet.
Okay, so this only affects me except for all those people sitting behind me in church who have to see my backside.

I plan to start a new business in town and the nay-sayers say, "It will not go over here in this town."


.......WHOOF.....all the wind just got sucked out of my sails!

I don't do anything......

UNTIL.....

I realize that I have stopped doing the things that are good and the things that benefit me or someone else, or even the community because of ONE person's opinion
AND.....
that I have allowed that one person to control me.

The funny thing is that those people never EVEN realize they affected my actions.

So here you are Jackie and Amy, I'm back!
Thanks for your continued support.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Of Wars and Loves

Ever watch "The War of the Roses"?

A quick recap of the plot of the movie is that a couple by the name of Rose is divorcing but living in the same house. The motivating factor in their lives is just to make life miserable for the other person.
He cuts the heels off of her dozens of shoes.....
she runs over his expensive car with a monster truck.....
he urinates in the fish she is serving her business associates.....
she loosens the nut on the chandelier to drop on him....
he then ......... oh, you get the picture.
Their expensive, beautiful house becomes a battleground ultimately ending in the death of both of them.

Just a movie.....but an exaggeration of real life for many.

What if instead they tried "heaping coals of fire on the other's head" with their kind acts.
What if he brought her coffee to her bedside in the morning....
She put his favorite soda on ice 45 minutes before he came home,
left the remote control for him,
fluffed his pillows in his favorite chair and
brought him a bowl of his favorite ice cream....
He sent her flowers in her work place.....
She left him sweet notes in his sock drawer....

It would be a different type of battle...
Their beautiful, expensive HOUSE may have turned into a beautiful, expensive HOME.

The best line in the movie was when the divorce lawyer after telling the Roses' story to another client said,
I'm going to urge you to be generous to the point of night sweats. The all-important thing is to get you through this as quickly and cleanly as possible so that you can begin rebuilding your life.
OK?
Or...you can get up and go home, and try to find some shred of what you once loved about the sweetheart of your youth.

lt's your life.

Take a minute.
So with that in mind, from a woman once-divorced-twice married to the same man one of the sweetest moments was when he handed me the pecan he was shelling as we left the steps of the divorce lawyers.

Life is often a battle of sorts, it is the little acts of kindness that will help you see the sweetness of life. If all we focus on are the wrongs done, we will miss the sweetness and burden ourselves with bitterness.

It's your life.

Take a minute.