Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Week of Love (Continued Part 4)

...Somewhere between the candy hearts and the broken hearts love happened.

The problem with love is the Hollywood packaging we buy into. We are led to believe it is all flutters and giggles and romance but really .............
love is that thing that follows.....
that grows from the first day you were attracted to each other and ripens and ferments over the years.

So I turned off the soap operas and closed the sexy romance novels forever and closed that chapter in my life and began to look at the older man who sat across from me and saw the young man I loved....imperfect just as I am, aging as gracefully as we can, silver streaking our hair, lines around our eyes.....

Valentine's Day this year would be really special. I decided to buy the guy something really big and something he would love....a big screen TV.

What guy would not like that?
Men like the noisiest trucks,
the most powerful guns,
the grungiest boots ....
I saved up enough money, watched for the sales, talked to salesmen, made my purchase and arranged delivery on Valentine's Day.

I could hardly contain myself with excitement over my secret. I knew he would love it.
It was big....not the biggest available, but as big as our space would allow without building on.....
The day came and with the help of the two young men I had convinced to assist me it was placed in it's corner and connected for use.

He walked in,
me:all smiles and excited,
he looked at the TV and said, "What did you do?"

So excited and proud of myself for doing such a good thing for my husband, I said, "Happy Valentine's Day. I bought this for you."

He looked at it and then disagreed, '"You bought that for yourself so you can watch your HG stuff on it."
He did have a slight smile on his face as he accused me of making the purchase for myself but the statement was what he truly believed and it was the farthest thing from the truth.

I protested his statement but to no avail. My enthusiasm began to fade and I felt unappreciated and unloved.

All I really wanted was his appreciation for my efforts or to hear him praise my ability to surprise him, or offer some words to make me feel important to him...he didn't even need to buy anything for me if he had played his hand better. Instead, he had insulted me, been unappreciative of my gift to him and to make things even worse he was empty handed.

My love bucket had a huge leak in it and I no longer felt his love flowing into it.

....the day was not over yet and realizing that this day was taking a turn for the worse he made a hurried trip to town in search of something to sooth my hurt feelings, returning with a package of wrapped carnations from HEB's floral department. Taking the flowers from his hand I plunged them into a vase of water, I thanked him somewhat unenthusiastically and continued preparing the evening meal.

Oh, how difficult relationships can be.
Why did the marriage license not come with an instruction manual?

To be continued....

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