I am afraid that we often set ourselves up for disappointment where our relationships are concerned. Now after many, many years of experience and a lot of growing up I am able to look back on my life, although with a bit of embarrassment, with the knowledge that I could have prevented much heartache had I just been a little wiser, learned to listen to unspoken messages, looked at the heart of the one who loved me, communicated my thoughts and expectations and been more forgiving of his shortcomings. So if you will indulge me a little while I remember some past Valentines Days we can laugh together and hopefully glean a little something from them.
Our first Valentine's Day together was as a married couple since we had only known each other for eight months total and six of those months were the dating months. We were still learning how to love each other and both full of anticipation of what we wanted from each other and here it was Valentine's Day before we fully communicated our expectations.
Being newlyweds and crazy in love I looked forward to his return home. Daily I listened for the sound of his truck rattling down our street and finally turning into our rocky driveway clattering so much it sounded like every bolt had shaken loose on the ol' Ford. By the end of the first month I could distinguish his rattle from all the other noisy trucks. Today, I was especially anxious to have our romantic evening together. I had been planning our time together for a couple of weeks. There would be a heart shaped box of chocolates for him, a romantic card professing my love and of course, I would make his favorite pie. I had planned my action!
I listened and listened for the familiar rattle and finally I could faintly hear it....still daylight out even. He clattered into the driveway, drove up nearly even with the kitchen window, without even looking in my direction slammed on his brakes, threw the truck in reverse and raced down the street in the opposite direction he had originally come.
My first clue that the evening was not planned on his part.
Shortly after he returned with a very small paper sack and in it was a package of Brach's candy corn....not even red, no flowers, no card.... nothing but candy corn.
I remember looking at the candy corn and saying, "...but this is Halloween candy, not Valentines candy."
He was so proud of himself for remembering that it was my favorite candy
.....and I was so disappointed it was not Valentine candy in a heart shaped box.
I said, "You waited so late you could not get a heart shaped box of candy?"
"Oh, sure, there were lots of them and men were grabbing them up. I could have gotten one for you but I knew you loved candy corn."
Looking back there were several things that did disappoint me about the evening but I wonder now why I could not listen to his heart. We had still been dating on Halloween. He remembered me saying then that I loved candy corn.
But I was eighteen, he was twenty-three....we had a long way to go..
To be continued....