Our Family is Still Growing

Well, if you have a facebook account you know all the gossip on Caleb and Gaby. A summer wedding is in the plans now with three possible dates being considered.

Months ago several of my family members sat around my parents table (minus the young couple) and made predictions for a summer wedding. Each of us took a date on the calendar and made our bets....while actually, we just each announced a date we wanted and no money was actually put down. BUT the date that is their first choice (June 20th) is the one I was betting on. Still time will tell. It is no surprise to any of us watching these twos that marriage was in the plans. And what a great addition to our family Gaby will make. I feel so fortunate that each of my children-in-law are wonderful choices for my children and I love them all dearly. Each is different....but all seek God.

My prayers have included my children, grandchildren, and extended family in particular for years. My prayers for Caleb have been very specific for quite a while but in recent years very, very specifically about the young woman God was preparing to be his bride. Fortunately Gaby and her parents were praying the same prayers for her.

We welcome her to our family with so much love.

That makes two we will be adding to our family in 2009.
In November Carl, Lisa, Reese and Pearson will be welcoming a new member to their family. Babies are always so much fun. Carl and Lisa have such sweet babies. A new baby will be such a welcome addition to our family.

My cup runneth over.

Another Cup of Coffee

Here I sit again with a leisurely cup of coffee and reflect on a great week that has passed. I crammed in only good things this week and the only regret I have is having to deal with heavy traffic although I did alright even with that.

• The weekend began with a great visit with Leann and Eric while they took refuge under my roof while the rest of their family was on a camp-out.
• Monday before daylight Linda and I made a day trip to Houston as buyers for the shop and oh, is that ever fun! I'd quit my day job to do that for a fraction of the pay! We are going to have that shop so girl-ed up Caleb will have to hire me. We got bracelets that dangle, bracelets for teachers, bracelets for sisters, bracelets that say I love you, bracelets that have scriptures, bracelets that support our sons overseas, bracelets for our granddaughters and bracelets for the teenagers....just for fun...we got bracelets! We even found a couple of them in Spanish. We found more turquoise, and sterling silver jewelry, we found tiaras and fun bangling necklaces and a few counter top jewelry stands to crowd the counter. OH-HO! How much fun is that?
• Tuesday and Wednesday again Linda and I got up early before dark and headed to visit our grandmother in east Texas. We sat at her feet and visited with her, drank coffee at her side and laughed with her and with my Uncle Grady and Aunt Patsy. The countryside is beautiful up there. Everything is greening up and even in the early afternoon with the sunlight on the rolling green hills a light fog lay under the tree branches and cows grazed on tender shoots....a very bucolic setting....the sort of thing that inspires artists to paint.
• Back home on Thursday, I spent my day working in the shop for Caleb while he went to SA with Gaby. So while I was there of course, I rearranged a few items, did inventory of the new purchases we made and got more jewelry on display.
• Friday was my most lazy day. I spent it grocery shopping, a quick stop in the shop to add a few more touches, cleaned out a couple of closets, did some laundry, drank coffee with the family and then a birthday celebration for Matthew that evening.
• Saturday I spent almost the entire day in my dad's shop. We cut out the tree for the busy bags to hang on and made a picket fence to go in front of it. It is going to be so cute. Now that it is cut out it needs to be primed and painted and then have it installed. I hope the location we chose will be acceptable to everyone but I know you can not please, everyone all of the time.
• And somewhere in there I finished my third book of the series of four. And the fourth book is now sitting next to me begging me to pick it up.
  

So here I am. Happy! With a full week behind me and no regrets of time wasted. What fun!
Tomorrow is back to school for a few more weeks and then it will be summer vacation.
I think I can make it now.

The First Cup of Coffee

I am having my first morning cup of coffee on my spring break while I recline in my chair in my snuggly blue pajamas with my cat pawing at my left side, an old movie on television and my laptop in my lap. It is still dark outside and cold and wet (Thank you, God for the rain...even the little bit that it is.) and I have a strong desire to yell for the others to wake up and come join me.

I want to know information!
I want the guys to join me so we can talk about stuff, not that I want to make them breakfast or anything but I want them here to talk to me and tell me the exciting things or the mundane things going on in their lives.

But they sleep!

I am a goal-oriented person...not competitive but quietly a mental list person. My mental list this week during my spring break is to visit my grandmother, go to market in Houston to get upper end jewelry for the shop (and yes, that is turquoise most of it anyway), clean this house, finish reading the third book in a series of four, and work outside in my yard....maybe get to visit Cooper's nursery outside of Floresville. OH! And get my tree cut out of plywood that will be for the busy bags for our congregation's preschool children to use during church services. In order to fulfill some goals I need to sync with a few others and for gardening....warmer weather.

It is amazing how quickly the time will pass if I do not make mental notes of things to do.
I'll read while it is dark, early morning or late night;
clean house in the mornings, and do small tasks on occasion;
and work outside anytime it is warm,(once started could turn into an all day thing).

Now my first cup gone; I need a another. And they are still not up.
It is going to be a great week!

*A note to our Busy Bags committee women: Bags are made, most labels are sewn on to be completed soon, have lots of crayons, stickers sheets, finger puppets, and a few books. Still need more things for the bags like maybe little match box cars and small items (quiet toys please). A small clipboard about 5 x 7 would be great to hold clean paper and colorful pencils. SOON TO BE A REALITY!

These Random Thoughts by Gaby

Okay, all.
Welcome Gaby to our fold. I know you will love her as I do.
http://theserandomthoughts-gabriela.blogspot.com/
She has certainly added color to my life with a loving spirit and her diverse cultural experiences.
She speaks to my heart about the older women in our lives....her first post.

Spring Cleaning

Okay, Jackie and Gaby, this is for you...It has been a very long time since I blogged. I see it was almost a month ago. What a long time. I have been busy, I guess.

Spring has certainly arrived! I hear that while we are basking in the sun here is south Texas in Athens, Georgia where my nephew lives he had six inches of snow just recently. I can not remember when it was really cold here this year. What a mild winter we had. I guess that is one reason I love Texas. Lately it has been too cool at night to turn on the air conditioner but too warm to turn on the heater so the windows are open.

My huge cat (baby), Einstein loves to sleep on the bed next to me but he also, likes to have the freedom to decide where and when he comes and goes. I let him. I never allowed my children as much freedom as this cat seems to have. You have heard the saying "dogs have owners, cats have staff". I think it applies here.

At night he wants out and stands by the back door and rushes out at the first opportunity. He'll be out there for a little while and then he will come scratching on the window to let him in upstairs.
Usually, I am sleeping when he scratches the window.
The sound wakes me,
I get up,
walk in the dark to the door,
open the sliding glass door,
Einstein sniffs around the door as if trying to sniff out danger,
if he decides it is all clear he then slowly enters,
I slide the door closed,
I go climb back in bed fall asleep again.
This has been a routine now for a long time. In fact, Einstein has scratched a hole in the screen. First it was just a small tear in the screening and then I noticed it was about the size of a quarter or larger.

The warmth of the night invites sleeping with the windows open. The air conditioner was on downstairs and the windows open upstairs so the door between the floors was closed. Einstein came up with me while I prepared to go to bed. He curled up in his usual spot next to me and fell asleep . The next morning as I was getting ready for school I wondered where the big cat was. He could not have gotten out himself with the door closed and I did not remember getting up during the night to let him out. My mind focused on preparing for school, I just did not worry over him.

Last night Einstein rushed outside before I went to bed. I knew he would come scratching on the window upstairs soon so went on to bed. It did not take me but a few minutes before I was sound asleep. Suddenly an unfamiliar noise woke me. The sound came from outside....or was it inside? It was close and to my right side near the window, a strange ripping scratchy sound. Jumping straight up in bed and looking toward the sound I was startled to see a huge cat entering the house through the giant hole in the screen. It looked like the lion in the opening credits on those old black and white Tarzan movies.

Spring cleaning will include replacing some screens this year, I guess.

A Week of Love Conclusion

Today is another Valentine's Day and again I have followed the pattern of success and expect a wonderful evening with our parents and my siblings and spouses. I gave bags of candy to each of my children's families and actually sent cards to my grandchildren on time this year....and am depending on the post office to deliver them on time. I have planned a meal, desserts and taken the focus off of me this year and placed it on others....because I have found it truly is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

Living a life of love daily is more rewarding than a life of regret or a life of resentment.
At the end of my life when I stand before God I don't want to have to try to explain a broken marriage....
"well, he never brought me flowers......"

Face it! No one can love you perfectly or as much as you want.....only God can do that.

I have learned:
....that if you expect something you had better have communicated your expectations because he can not read your mind.
....that if you plan something you need to be sure it is in his plans. too.
....that the sexes have different ideas of how to express love.
....and that the problem with us begins with me.
....I can only change me and if I plan to change him I need to be prepared for disappointment.
....and that life is better with him than without him.
....for him to feel love I had better learn his love language (take the quiz The Five Love Languages)

So for this day of love I wish for you a lifetime of loving.
Happy Valentine's Day.

Saying I love you should really mean I have found in you a person whom I respect and find qualities that I can appreciate and have chosen to treat you lovingly for the rest of my life, putting your concerns and happiness ahead of mine.

And thanks for hanging in there with me.

A Week of Love (Continued Part 5)

.....Another year and I planned to get it right this time. But no big surprise gifts to be misunderstood, no more stars in my eyes as to what romance is, and no room for resentment....this year WILL be different.
After all I had enough practice by now on how not to do it.
The odds were in my favor....right?

On Sunday afternoon Holly and I started off by making the candy centers and sugar cookies and dipped the centers as time permitted during the week. I put together a great menu for our special supper together ended with the creme de la creme dessert....a new recipe I found that looked especially intriguing...a chocolate ganache cake.

In the approaching days I greeted him with a special measure of enthusiasm each day, looked at him while he talked, listened to his jokes....one more time, sat next to him on the couch while we watched our big screen TV after the meal and we held hands....while he slept.

The evening of Valentine's Day we invited our parents in to share our evening with us. I can not remember the conversation but I remember the love that flowed around that table and the smiles and laughter. If I received flowers or candy I can not remember them either now but what I do know is that the good feeling lasted for a very long time.

....."OH, BOY!"
We got it right!

To be continued....

A Week of Love (Continued Part 4)

...Somewhere between the candy hearts and the broken hearts love happened.

The problem with love is the Hollywood packaging we buy into. We are led to believe it is all flutters and giggles and romance but really .............
love is that thing that follows.....
that grows from the first day you were attracted to each other and ripens and ferments over the years.

So I turned off the soap operas and closed the sexy romance novels forever and closed that chapter in my life and began to look at the older man who sat across from me and saw the young man I loved....imperfect just as I am, aging as gracefully as we can, silver streaking our hair, lines around our eyes.....

Valentine's Day this year would be really special. I decided to buy the guy something really big and something he would love....a big screen TV.

What guy would not like that?
Men like the noisiest trucks,
the most powerful guns,
the grungiest boots ....
I saved up enough money, watched for the sales, talked to salesmen, made my purchase and arranged delivery on Valentine's Day.

I could hardly contain myself with excitement over my secret. I knew he would love it.
It was big....not the biggest available, but as big as our space would allow without building on.....
The day came and with the help of the two young men I had convinced to assist me it was placed in it's corner and connected for use.

He walked in,
me:all smiles and excited,
he looked at the TV and said, "What did you do?"

So excited and proud of myself for doing such a good thing for my husband, I said, "Happy Valentine's Day. I bought this for you."

He looked at it and then disagreed, '"You bought that for yourself so you can watch your HG stuff on it."
He did have a slight smile on his face as he accused me of making the purchase for myself but the statement was what he truly believed and it was the farthest thing from the truth.

I protested his statement but to no avail. My enthusiasm began to fade and I felt unappreciated and unloved.

All I really wanted was his appreciation for my efforts or to hear him praise my ability to surprise him, or offer some words to make me feel important to him...he didn't even need to buy anything for me if he had played his hand better. Instead, he had insulted me, been unappreciative of my gift to him and to make things even worse he was empty handed.

My love bucket had a huge leak in it and I no longer felt his love flowing into it.

....the day was not over yet and realizing that this day was taking a turn for the worse he made a hurried trip to town in search of something to sooth my hurt feelings, returning with a package of wrapped carnations from HEB's floral department. Taking the flowers from his hand I plunged them into a vase of water, I thanked him somewhat unenthusiastically and continued preparing the evening meal.

Oh, how difficult relationships can be.
Why did the marriage license not come with an instruction manual?

To be continued....

A Week of Love (Continued Part 3)

...as the business of being a wife and mother got well under way the responsibilities became heavier and heavier and I was often physically tired and emotionally drained.... just a couple of the side effects of having a family if a list exists.

The poor man who loved me.
In my eyes
....He did not come home early enough,
....he did not take me places often enough,
....he did not send me flowers,
....he did not say the things I wanted to hear,
....or do the things I wanted him to do and
....he would wait until late in the day to even think about what he was going to do for me.
After all, wasn't Valentine's Day the day for him to express his love to ME?

I was always sweet to him,
made his meals,
cleaned his clothes,
did all those special things for him
and
...it was me who gave him children!

He would come home happy to be there and immediately his attentions were directed to the children and the squeals of the children and his roar to scare them announced his arrival to me while I worked preparing for our meal.

I showered my attention on the children more and him less.
I made sure my children had the candy or sweet cards or little gifts
and
him just a card.

We both grew away from each other........and the years rolled on.

We were no longer so young but still we both had much to learn.

When would we ever learn?

To be continued...

Yes, I have tears in my eyes!!!!
Okay, really they are pouring down my cheeks. Oh, kids coming in.

A Week of Love (Continued)

Continued from A Week of Love

.......The years rolled by and with each coming year for a while a child was added to our brood, making money a little tight, time a little pressed and tensions a lot higher.

Valentine's Day became just another day. Grandma would always bring the little ones a red heart sucker. Promptly as the suckers were unwrapped the kids were placed in the bathtub to keep their sticky fingers off of the walls and furniture. They learned the routine and would bring me a sucker and start for the bathroom.

I guess they outgrew that.

I loved to get the children the conversation hearts.......pure sugar.

They never outgrew that.

The chocolate in heart shaped boxes started rolling in each year, usually bought by me and sometimes from a grandparent or two but were always shared by the whole family. It was not unusual to find a box of empty wrappers and crushed chocolates because someone liked only the ones with the nuts in them.

Flowers never came from a florist and back then I can not remember the store carrying flowers like they do now. If I received a flower it was picked from one of the blooming bushes in the fence rows. The first one I received graciously since I had never seen the bloom and it was a novel idea. It was a full length of a branch with many yellow brushy blooms and smelled sweet and as he gave it to me he said he thought of me as he passed by it on the tractor.

But in coming years when I began to hear the stories of all the good things the other husbands were doing for their wives I was resentful of a husband arriving empty handed late into the evening with just a little blooming stick from the fence row tucked in his pocket.

And it did not satisfy me.

It was difficult for me to recognize the sacrifices he had made of his time to keep us fed and clothed.
But I was young and had much to learn.

To be continued.