A Week of Love

I am afraid that we often set ourselves up for disappointment where our relationships are concerned. Now after many, many years of experience and a lot of growing up I am able to look back on my life, although with a bit of embarrassment, with the knowledge that I could have prevented much heartache had I just been a little wiser, learned to listen to unspoken messages, looked at the heart of the one who loved me, communicated my thoughts and expectations and been more forgiving of his shortcomings. So if you will indulge me a little while I remember some past Valentines Days we can laugh together and hopefully glean a little something from them.

Our first Valentine's Day together was as a married couple since we had only known each other for eight months total and six of those months were the dating months. We were still learning how to love each other and both full of anticipation of what we wanted from each other and here it was Valentine's Day before we fully communicated our expectations.

Being newlyweds and crazy in love I looked forward to his return home. Daily I listened for the sound of his truck rattling down our street and finally turning into our rocky driveway clattering so much it sounded like every bolt had shaken loose on the ol' Ford. By the end of the first month I could distinguish his rattle from all the other noisy trucks. Today, I was especially anxious to have our romantic evening together. I had been planning our time together for a couple of weeks. There would be a heart shaped box of chocolates for him, a romantic card professing my love and of course, I would make his favorite pie. I had planned my action!

I listened and listened for the familiar rattle and finally I could faintly hear it....still daylight out even. He clattered into the driveway, drove up nearly even with the kitchen window, without even looking in my direction slammed on his brakes, threw the truck in reverse and raced down the street in the opposite direction he had originally come.

My first clue that the evening was not planned on his part.

Shortly after he returned with a very small paper sack and in it was a package of Brach's candy corn....not even red, no flowers, no card.... nothing but candy corn.

I remember looking at the candy corn and saying, "...but this is Halloween candy, not Valentines candy."

He was so proud of himself for remembering that it was my favorite candy
.....and I was so disappointed it was not Valentine candy in a heart shaped box.

I said, "You waited so late you could not get a heart shaped box of candy?"

"Oh, sure, there were lots of them and men were grabbing them up. I could have gotten one for you but I knew you loved candy corn."

Looking back there were several things that did disappoint me about the evening but I wonder now why I could not listen to his heart. We had still been dating on Halloween. He remembered me saying then that I loved candy corn.

But I was eighteen, he was twenty-three....we had a long way to go..

To be continued....

When...

Another week down. I look forward to each weekend with great expectation but I fear I am wishing my life away when I should be enjoying each day for its special blessings.

As a young girl I used to think "when I am a teenager I will be grown and then my life will begin".

Then as a teenager I thought "when I get married then I will really be an adult and my life will be perfect".

The years rolled by and I married and became a young wife and I thought "when I have children then my life will be complete".

Then as a wife and young mother I thought "when I can have a house of my own with enough room for my children to run and play and have their own space then my life will be easier and I will be content".

Then as a home owner, wife and mother I thought "when the children are grown and married I will have my life back again and have time to do all the things I have put off doing".

Then my children grew, married and I had everything I could ever dream of including a job with responsibilities and then I thought "Saturday will be wonderful. I can clean out my crowded closets, wash my many clothes, organize my over crowded pantry and start a new painting, watch an old movie on TCM and read that book I have so little time to read, visit with my children, grandchildren and family and find time to go shop for groceries."

And it was not so....
but it is good.

Looking Pretty

Today as I stepped outside of my classroom into the outside world one of my students called out to me from nearby, "Hi, Mrs. Royal. You sure look good today."

Now...I am no dummy!

This was afternoon and I know I look tired and the hair that I have severely pulled back this morning is now trying to make an escape from the combs that are holding it back. The wiry gray hairs that I can no longer deny are popping out all over my head, the lipstick is long gone with nothing but a faint smile left over, I am still carrying the extra weight from the past year and my clothes are no prettier today than they were last week when I wore them. So how do you explain the random compliment?

I am the teacher; he is the student.

But nonetheless, it brought a smile to my face, reminded me of my own children when they were young and cute....still are cute...not so young anymore (sorry, kids). My baby turned 30 this past November. My oldest grandchild will be eleven this year! Whoa!

When Caleb was just three or four he saw his grandmother returning home from a day teaching first graders. From across the parking area he yelled out to her, "Grandma, you look so pretty today!"

What a charmer! By the way, he is still working his charms on the older ladies and at least one young one!

But that aside, it also brings to mind my experiences as a high school student. I was taking freshman English with Mrs. Groce, who unfortunately possessed the sharpest nose I had ever seen which in my opinion on first encounter made her pretty weird looking. Looking back now I realize that she must have been a fairly young woman at that time. I don't remember much about her class but I do remember that by the time the year ended I loved her and thought she was one of the most beautiful women I knew without even considering her actual features.

Truly when you love someone you view their heart, the inner beauty of a person shines through...the reverse can also be true.

The Art of Boredom

Years ago a friend of mine , the mother of five or six children each about 2 years apart made the comment that sometimes she loved to sit and listen to the clock tick. We all laughed when she said it as if we all understood exactly what she meant but as the years have gone by and our lives became hectic I began to understand that statement on a completely different level.

There is something magical about listening to the clock tick. Something comforting....comfortable....calming....a music all it's own.

The fear of boredom is epidemic among my students and it spreads among them as fast as the news of the latest fight in the hallways. The kids are selling this attitude to the parents who are clamoring to keep the kids occupied with every minute of their awake time.

I used to take it as a personal insult when a student of mine would look up at me with dull eyes and state "I'm bored". The first year of teaching I worked to make activities more fun, gave them more choices, tried to keep them more involved and worried over it all. But soon I began to notice it had nothing to do with me or the activity at hand but rather the student himself. I can still remember the worst of those students who complained of boredom with a vengeance. There was something lacking in them....the ability to find contentment in the absence of entertainment, or the twiddling of fingers or ....the doodling in their minds...they lacked creativity! Now I smile as I give them my pat answer to "I'm bored." and say, "you bring that with you. It is up to you to learn how to deal with that." There is something special in the quiet moments of the day that allow you to stop and reflect on the day, or let you mind just go blank and use your eyes and ears to communicate with you or let your imagination run wild. There is nothing to be feared that is for sure.

I was sent a link recently that expresses just those ideas. I hope all you mothers, grandmothers and teachers out there will stop and read the articles linked below in the quiet moments of your day. It may help you to raise more creative, happier children.
The Blessing of Boredom (Click on Title)
And don't neglect reading this one either.
The Joy of Boredom. (Click on Title)

I hope today you find time to cherish the moments you can sit and relax while you listen to the sounds of nature, children talking in the distance, laughter.....the ticking of the clock.

Teaching the Arts

It is a quiet morning...the end of the first week back at school (after the holidays) which must be the longest week in the history of education!

I pray every morning that I can get through to my students, inspire them to learn, bring out the genius in them, all while they behave themselves in an appropriate way. Even so sometimes teaching art to a large group of high schoolers is like herding a bunch of cats while a bunch of chimpanzees are loose among them .

Now that most of the boys tower above me and whose voices are deeper and louder than mine it is a most challenging job for an old woman which I think I have become (most assuredly I am to them whether I am or not). For the most part I am very pleased with my students but every now and then there will be one or two who want to buck the system and have to be exterminated.....I mean....ah, dealt with. But nonetheless I have students whose art works are turning out to be wonderful. I would like to share some of their work with you so you can see what students are doing in their classrooms when they put their minds to it and sometimes while they are not but happy accidents will happen and a persistent art teacher is usually present keeping in mind that sanity is not always necessary when teaching art. These are unfinished works so if there is a large blank space it is probably just the area that they have not gotten to and the white of the paper is showing through. As they become finished I will post them again so you can see the final results. (Actually, by teaching I am helping keep Caleb in business because when they finish their work the parents are so proud of their darlin's they rush down to Caleb's shop and have it framed. Yeah!)

Art I students are working with collage. Collage being the use of found materials like magazines and advertisments. My students have been instructed to tear up the magazine pages into little pieces and glue them into place. This is a challenging project because it requires searching for pages with the color you need and then merging the little pieces together in such as way that it gradually changes the values as is necessary. And since my budget that has not seen an increase in the last sixteen years although the enrollment has more than doubled and class size increased by 10 students on average recycling is not just environmentally responsible it has become necessary.
The following pictures are all art I students work and the last picture is a close up of the one before it so you can see how the artwork is created.

Roosters Zebra

Parrots Waterlily Detail of Waterlily Below

The Lake of Expectations

I dreamed a dream.

It was a well lit evening with the wash of color across the evening sky, just the remnants of the evening sunset and there we were, the family I knew as a child running around playing and the sounds of laughter and people talking in the distance . And Clint as he was before the accident crippled him for life and I fishing in the Lake of Expectations that mirrored the wash of color from the skys. Occasionally we would glimpse movement below the surface. Our lines danced out onto the surface of the water and back again in rhythmic movements time and again fishing on the surface with us just enjoying the moment.

Suddenly Gary, the child as he was before his accident was beside me saying,
"We are leaving now. I need my turkey you stored for me in your freezer."

And there was the car loaded with all of the family members smiling, laughing and waving goodbye, ready for the journey.....I handed Gary the package I had stored in the heart of my freezer for him and cried and said it was too soon to go, please stay a little longer. But they couldn't and all smiles and waves left me filled with happiness and sadness all merged into one,
standing there next to the edge of the Lake of Expectations watching them drive away.

Life is short.
Our lives are all rolled up, intertwined with each others, the past, the present, the living and the dead, the healthy and the lame.....
Suddenly the time has passed and we are looking back on days gone by.
Days roll into years and years into decades.
The fairness of this life is that equally none of us have any guarantees, any assurances of more....all we have is the moment we are in. Like the cup we choose for our morning coffee. We pick up a cup thinking it is a perfect cup for the occasion and we begin to fill and then we see that it has some flaws, a little crack in the lip, a little chip out of the inside of the handle that rubs my finger just so it causes a little irritation but not enough to stop me from drinking. I add whatever I choose, sometimes, it tastes a little bitter and sometimes, it is sweet but it still gives me a little buzz when I drink it.

So at the start of this new year consider the moment.
Make it count.

Love others,
Smile at strangers,
Give assistant to someone who needs it as you see it.
Make time to see those you love,
Say the words "I love you".
Be a reflection of Christ,
Choose to be the person you know lives in your heart.

Happy New Year!

Welcoming the New Year

I love Christmas!
Santa found his way to our house again! Maybe it was the reindeer food scattered outside or the sound of kids laughter inside but by morning our tree had more presents underneath its branches to cover every bit of that new hard wood floor we had put down before the kids came to visit.

After a few hours in the kitchen, and a few cinnamon rolls for breakfast, turkey and dressing and the works for dinner, twice baked potatoes covered in melted cheese and pies and cakes coming out our ears to snack the day away no one went away hunger and in fact, most were finally repulsed by the smell of food cooking.
We were miserably happy!

I highly recommend...

• smiling and laughing....
• hugging the babies....
• swinging outside....
• hiking the countryside
  
• singing silly Christmas songs...
• playing games together that span the ages from young to old...
• sharing covers....
  
• being among those you love the most!

Here's to the new year!
We are so blessed! I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for us in the coming year.
Love to all....

Here Comes Santa Claus

I received an email from my dad the other day sending me a cake in a cup recipe. I quickly opened it and scanned it without much thought and sent back an email saying, "okay, we will have a chocolate cake in a cup when I come for coffee this evening." Then I quickly forgot it in the midst of all my busy work at school. I forgot about it that evening at coffee but I did remember it the next evening. When I mentioned making the cake in a cup he was happy to see I remembered it.

It was not the greatest cake I ever ate but it was good and it was chocolate and it was done in three minutes flat and gone in the next few minutes. It was fun. It filled the cup so much that it was a pretty big piece of cake for me so we divided it between us and shared it.

The following is the recipe:

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes.

I made it again today because I am alone for the afternoon and chocolate is a favorite. Indeed I had chocolate cake in three minutes and that is how long it took me to clean up my mess after I dropped the cocoa can, dribbled milk on the counter and spilled little bits of sugar and flour. But how fun was that. It was almost like I am sneaking cake for myself because once I clean it up no one will be the wiser. Except when the scales start squealing.

So now this got me to thinking. With Christmas coming I think the grandchildren would love to make their own cakes but knowing the mess I made with it I had to find something easier for them. Here is what I have found.
Everywhere I looked online they used them as teacher gifts. Great idea! One person put the mug together and then added truffles and coffee in a basket she shrink wrapped. (To give credit where credit is due I found this on www.reallifeblog.net)

Cake in a Cup (makes 8)

18 ¼ oz. Chocolate Cake Mix (box, any brand)
3.9 oz. pkg. Instant chocolate pudding mix
3 c. powdered sugar, divided
4 ½ T. hot cocoa mix, divided
2 ¼ t. vanilla powder, divided (This is the only expensive ingredient, and can be left out if needed.)

Place dry cake mix and pudding mix in a large mixing bowl; mix together. Divide and place a ½ cup mix in 8 plastic sandwich bags; secure with twist ties and label as cake mix. Tuck one bag in a large mug that will hold at least 1 ½ cups of water. Because the cake is microwaved, be sure the cup doesn’t have any metal decorations on it. Place 1/3 cup powdered sugar, 1 ½ teaspoons hot cocoa mix and ¼ teaspoon vanilla powder in 8 plastic sandwich bags; secure with twist ties and label as glaze mix. Makes 8 individual mixes for coffee mugs.

Gift Tag (Tie onto the handle with raffia or ribbon)

Generously spray inside of coffee mug with nonstick vegetable spray. Empty contents of cake mix bag into mug and add one egg white, 1 Tablespoon oil and 1 Tablespoon water. Mix until well blended. Microwave on high for two minutes. While cake is baking place glaze mix in small mixing bowl and add 1 ½ teaspoons water, mix well. When cake is done, pour glaze over cake in cup and enjoy while warm

Fun idea!!!

Anyone else have any fun ideas for Christmas gifts or just fun things to do?

The Geese Have Returned

The Geese have returned.
Sounds like a code between spies passing in the streets in a James Bond movie or something.
To me it is the announcement of the seasons turning to winter in my part of the world.

The sound of a gaggle of geese can be heard for a quite a little distance. In the distance black dots appear to be covering the field that had been a green expanse of peanut plants during the summer but now is just the bare ground with just a hint of the dried peanut hay that had escaped the claws of the baler. The geese gather in the open fields, thousands of noisy birds, returning year after year to the same location. They found our little community some years ago and began to grace us with the annual visit. I love to stand outside and hear them or find them in the field behind my own house. It is one of those sites and sounds that makes me appreciate living in the country, one of those things that make me think that one day I will look back on this time and miss them when the world around us has changed into whatever the future holds for us. Like Christmas carolers singing along the river walk, this is a nostalgic moment....remember it. These are Rockwell moments in our time like watching the dance recitals of my granddaughters and Kristen is inspecting the rafters over the stage while the other girls are going through their dance routine or Joel's expression at the Christmas program at church while they are lined up in a chorus of happy children singing angelically when he realizes that Eric has grabbed the microphone behind them and is singing into it with all of his heart.

Rockwell didn't just live in a perfect time in a perfect life therefore painting such fun times. No, actually living through a time of wars in the 20th century, once divorced, twice married,his art studio burned to the ground during his career, and given to moods he choose to paint a time that made us stop and cherish the moments in our lives. He wanted us to glean the good from the bad.

Slow down this season and enjoy the moment.
These times pass quickly and soon are forgotten unless we tag them in our memories.

Book Reviews

Dana sent me an invitation to join an online book club yesterday morning and I accepted. Now between my teaching, this blog, my facebook account, painting, cleaning, remodeling and of course being a wife, mother and grandmother I have one more thing to occupy my time. I did NOT list those in the order of importance.
If any of you are interested let me know. Dana and I will send you the link. It is called goodreads. I immediately began to find people I knew other than Dana.
If you like to read and want to know what others are reading this is a fun way to get the information.

Let me recommend a book now.
How Full is Your Bucket?
I wish I had read this when I was younger. This is a book about helping yourself be a happier person but while you are getting happier you are afffecting all those around you and helping them be happier. It is really simple. It is contagious.

While Lisa was here I gave her a copy of the book and it became the subject of most of our conversations. She would read a little and then come in and tell me all about it. It is based on those Gallop polls taken in the malls back in the 70's but the research was never used or published. The authors are a team, grandfather and grandson. The grandfather while dying of cancer talked his grandson into writing the book about his research. What a wonderful legacy to leave for the grandson and we all can benefit.

Fast read, interesting research and statistics. I rate it a must read by all.